I AM NO SITTER AND LISTENER

There you have it---make the most of it.

Alas, listening to someone talk (ad nauseum) was not

built into my genes.

My disdain also included getting as far from a speaker,

as I could.

Why in Sunday School, age nine, I sat on the back row,

if possible. And hid.

At SWBTS in Dr. Baker's Church History class, there

I was---right there on the very last row, against the 

wall, almost. And Dr. Baker, that incomparable teacher,

with always a twinkle in his eyes, had a penchant for

saying at every session: "I'll repeat that assignment for

you guys on the back row."

My first career involved so many hours of sitting and

listening that it is a wonder I made it. It is a known fact

that folks' attention span for a talk is about twenty-five

minutes.

During those years of speech-listening, I was seated,

not on the back row, but on the podium---up there

with the choir---afraid to even scratch my nose...lest

it look like a "pick," remember Seinfeld. I couldn't even

squirm.

There have been some  funerals in which all talented

family members had to sing..or do eulogies...thus the

services lasted one-and-half to two hours.

Political speeches---smeeches---we can mostly forget

them---75% of promises will never be fulfilled. and who

can ever forget H.'s monotonous same-pitch A-Flat 

drone---called "speeches"  by some. (BE says it is a 

"G.")

Unfortunately, speakers with captive audiences may

fall in love with their own voices...and go on for forty-

five minutes.

I will tell you a story, containing a bit of humor, I think.

A pastor and his wife, with whom I worked, journeyed

all the way from far north Texas down to San Antonio

for a big state convention. And took me...

The auditorium for this huge convocation held, I 

reckon,  maybe four thousand people.

The first big morning we went in and passed all my

favorite back-row seats, and I'll swanny---you won't

believe this one---we paraded down that LONG left

aisle right down to the  third row...then excused our 

way across to the very middle, where there were 

three seats...and there we sat, smack in front of.the 

speakers. There were three speakers to come, that

morn.

"What have I got myself into," I thought. Here I am---

a small-bladder-guy locked in for three hours with

gallon-bladder-people, who like listening. Getting 

outta there would be a "federal case."

I will avoid the details other than to say: I never made

THAT mistake again. Skipped trips with them...

That afternoon I hung out in the big lobby, hob-nobbing

with old school friends, drinking coffee, eating popcorn

and doing what should be done at a convention. Talk.

After all---who likes sitting and listening?

Later they said, somewhat disapprovingly: "Where were

YOU?" After that, we were no longer convention buddies.

Boiling it all down, nowadays I like to get info and digest

it in my Lazy Boy. Like the old "DRAGNET" with Jack

Webb, "Just give me the facts ma'am---just the facts..."

and I will read...and figure it out.

Besides, have you noticed  lately at meetings---the back

rows fill up---early.

****************

BY MIL

8/15/16