OLD ADAGE: "NEVER WATCH THOSE WHO MAKE
YOUR SAUSAGE...YOUR LAWS...OR YOUR
HEARING AIDS..."
There must be a right smart---an awful lot---
of sweaty, tedious, challenging,
and exacting hard work
And pricey raw materials galore, and
maybe even overtime
That go into the making of a pair
of those silly little things
that you stick in your ear
to help you hear
Strange also that health plans steer clear
of any coverage...and please don't
mention them to a candidate---
Or it could be "Free hearing aids for all!"
"How much are they, nowadays?" You say
to the Tech, as you exit that testing
booth...then quickly sit down on the stool
for the bad news
And you know---these hearing experts have
been trained proper: they're
sent to school and have taken
"DICKER 101."
YES, they know how to "dicker" prices!
"Well er, it depends," he hems-and-haws,
"whether you want...
the OLD DATED ECONOMY ONES
or
the VERY BEST MODERN ONES!"
"Costs run from $2800 to $6000," he explains
with excitement in his face and
anticipation of a big commission
(The whole event reminded me of the movie
scene in "The Shakiest Gun In The
West" when the shyster held the
abacus up for Don Knotts to verify.)
Try dickering with an "abacus quote!"
"Well, one thing's for sure, in all this business,"
I say, "None of those pinto bean-sized
aids, that have a little string on 'em
and get lost in your ear---for me---"
"NOSSIR!"
"Give me the good old-fashioned ones...
you know, with the amplifiers
over the ears, like my old ones---"
"Besides, I've got a whole bunch of Size 13
batteries," I tell him.
Picking out a pair, I say "How much will
they be?"
And I, having had "DICKER 404," quickly
throw into the mix: "And don't forget it---
I may run over to COSTCO---they
have 'em real cheap---and just compare
your price!"
Ah, I saw a glimmer of sympathy right then
in that Boy's left eye, (and it was.when
I realized that he had a glass eye...)
and I knew he felt a little bad for an old timer---
one about to go on a dog food diet---
just to be able to hear!
(And all this because BE had become a
whisperer in her later years)
This man "with heart" right then--sensed it was
"time to close the sale," and
magnanimously cried: "It'll be
XXX Thousands, and we'll throw in
two-month's supply of free Size 13
batteries!"
"GLORY-AH.....GLORY-AH...."
Were the angels in heaven...
singing?
We signed up---ah, my second pair!
"They'll be here in two days---I specified
'RUSH! ' " he almost shouted.
(Maybe a GRAND of their price was for the
rush-hauling of those heavy things.)
I pondered all this interesting happening
on the way home,
and discussed it with BE.
Hearing aids...hmmm....$2800--$6000...
More money than I made in a year, when
we were young.
Half of what our first house cost....
Our '57 Golden Hard-Top Chevrolet was $2700.
Our turquoise '60 Chevrolet was $3800.
Our '72 Chevrolet 3/4 Ton Custom Camper
pickup was $5000.
Why are hearing aids so "absorbent"---as my
N.Y. friend used to say?
"The answer my friend, is blown' in the wind...
The answer is blown' in the wind."
******************
BY MIL
6/13/16
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