Tuesday, May 22, 2018

"CHORTLE"


The man on TV got my attention.

He said: "When I heard that, it made me
'CHORTLE. ' " 

Now I had run across, or heard that word
before....a few times. And I liked it. 

It was some sort of laugh I thought, and 
it sounded downright cool---kind of down-
home and a bit avuncular---like an older
favorite uncle would do.

Not a loud, showy boisterous "HO HO"or
"AH HAH HAH," or pulling all stops---a
"HAWH HAWH HAWH," making everyone
turn their heads ...and gawk!

Nossir, I figured it was more the laugh of
an old timer who'd "been there" in life,
had seen and heard fun things before,
and so....was rewarding the teller of 
something decently and respectably 
humorous with a well-appointed and well-
crafted polished laugh...tasteful and all...

Anyway, that was my thinking when I went
to Henry II and googled "chortle." I needed
to get all the info I could, as I was somewhat
taken by this word....and concept.

Here's the result: "laugh in a breathy, gleeful
way." And further---"a hearty, happy,
satisfying laugh."

So in planning "my new laugh" which I was
hoping to add to my "laugh-cabulary,"  I
did the only smart thing left---going to my
Beloved Editor (aka known as "B.E,") and
asking: "Do you know anything about 
"chortling?"

Her eyes brightened as she seemed to go
back into the archives of her mind, and
remember something with great fondness.
And sit down for this...

"Ah yes, well do I remember all those years
at our church... we had a beloved deacon
who sat near the front on the right side of the
sanctuary and he loved every word of the 
services."

"Often," she continued, "a preacher or
someone would say something humorous
and as the congregation's laughter was 
diminishing, Dale would then give his own
stamp of approval with a dignified, but 
resonating "Ho ho oh oh oh ho." As if an
"amen-ing" echo...

B.E. continued: "It was one of the most 
priceless things I remember about Dale
and those past days in our church."

There you have it my friends, my best 
attempt to acquaint you, with a "chortle."

I'll admit, if you see me on the street, 
don't worry none if I'm laughing slightly
under my breath...I'll just be practicing
Dale's  CHORTLE...as I too remember him
and his laugh---with great fondness.

"ho ho ho ho ho ho..."

 "chortle...chortle..."
-----------
MIL

5/22/18

Friday, May 18, 2018

THE "OLD-TIME RELIGION" TREE



Old timers...
      read "real-old timers..."
are not really certain about how
    the old Hamilton piano
got left out in the woods,
      forgotten...

Well, I am told---there was 
    along in the twenties
when people believed in God---
      out in those woods 
among the farms and near the
   little town---
A BIG BRUSH ARBOR "REVIVAL
               MEETING"

People came from all over
    and camped out, some with their 
cows and chickens since 
there was a crick nearby...

And they got some young guys 
    to haul that heavy piano 
out there and out of four---
    two got hernias.

Those who recall those simpler times
     say:
"O you should've been there, 
      anywhere around, for:
-----at a hundred yards the singing 
           was beautiful
-----at a half mile it was grand
                    and
-----at a mile it was magnificent !!!!"

It lasted three weeks, day and night,
    and when it was over
everyone was "revivaled-out."

The four young piano movers  were
    nowhere to be found, 
and after the chairs were hauled away
     and the place cleaned up---
THERE THE OLD PIANO SAT...

Some said "We'll get it before fall..."
    but the years went on, 
and others said "we'll build a little shed,"
     and some widows sprayed 
it with Hailey's Guaranteed Waterproofing...

And over time it became a picnic place,
     a courting place, and young 
couples would go and a girl would play
    and they'd sing together, 
old-timey songs like "Lorena" and "Evalina"
    and "Loch Lomond..."

Time was, with the wet felts and all, it 
     went-out-of -tune
but somehow the piano became a 
     place of memories and 
even malicious vandals bothered
    not the old instrument.

Then a little tree sprouted and grew 
    right up thru it, anchoring it
          forever onto the ground,
just as it was already anchored 
    in the hearts of the people...

It is said that on occasional spring or
    summer nights, pensive piano
tunes, as if from old revival 
    times---can be heard, kind of
"ghost-like" on the gentle 
      winds-of-the woods---
like  "Tell Me The Old Old Story
    of Jesus and His Love,"
              or
"Jesus Paid It All, All To Him  I Owe..."

and one dear old lady says,
     "My sins fell away from my 
soul, not twenty feet from that
         blessed old piano."
-------------
BY MIL

7 MAY 2018

THE MUSIC TREE



THE MUSIC TREE
by Bobbie Bolton Burnett


So there you are
I have wondered what your fate would be


Sitting down in the front corner
Right next to the stage
Of an old movie house
Was where I first saw you.


You produced the music
For silent movies on the screen
Tickling across the ivories
For every thrilling scene

For in you were the sounds
Of romance, galloping horses, blazing guns
Battles of a war and comedies
You had it all, just with the touch of a key.


Your life did not end
When the movies ended.
Now you live in the shelter
Of the only tree in the forest
With music in its roots

@Bobbie Burnett 2018



Bobbie Bolton Burnet

By Bobbie Burnett
For Mil's Place
5/17/'18


LIFE IS VERBS....AND VERSE....and POETRY




breathe.        laugh.       run....        jump
     plan.    work.      strive.    love.          climb
         swim.     cook.         speak.      sing
dance.     help.       hug.     talk.    sow.   reap
   listen.      learn.     pity.       teach.     enjoy
regret.     have mercy.        listen.      walk
    observe.    care.     travel.    absorb.   forgive
rue.     eat.      drink.          celebrate      protect
       think.     reason.      help.      develop
become.      grow.              learn humility
   forgive.       forgive.      forgive.    listen
sleep.        play.      fish.        give.         read
     be grateful.    be a servant.    be contrite
        pray.   worship.     confess.    atone
trust.       believe.     praise.          adore
                     REST................     

---------------------------
BY MIL

11 MAY 2018

UNDER THE DUST-JACKETS..ARE TOUGH BINDINGS...











Have you ever heard of this English Book 
Company?

These are better books than you will find 
in an airport magazine shoppe.

Those paperbacks use paper that will
last a thousand days...and The Folio
Society book pages might endure for 
a thousand years.

There are likely no books extant in the
world to match these in quality and 
beauty. Many have excellent paintings,
drawings, and art work as illustrations.

The only books close to them in quality 
and beauty are the leather-bound volumes 
of several publishers. They also have 
special paper and bindings that will last a
millennium.

The prices for these books have gone
up considerably since I first became
acquainted with them. They range 
upwards over a half-hundred...often.

It is worth it to have at least one in 
your library...if you are a book lover---
just to sit and heft it and tho' it lacks
the marvelous smell of an old book,
it does have a fine bookish smell.

Every book aficionado knows that
one can absorb much learning from
the smell of a book!

I myself, have only three or four. I think
I acquired two on a deal once, just for
joining. My "membership" died for lack
of exercise, but one I treasure highly is
"one of twenty" Patrick O'Brian's  sea
novels.  I read all twenty, most of them
from the public library. Mine is "Master
and Commander."

These are books, to be highly coveted,
but for younger people, though even they
may not outlast the paper life.

And one needs a little cash to spare,
to own a whole Folio library.
--------------
BY MIL

17 MAY 2018

THOSE MARVELOUS...BUT AWFUL..."SCONES"

"LET HIM WHO IS WITHOUT FAT...EAT THE FIRST SCONE"


A SCONE


My friends, you are looking at a "SCONE."

Okay..they are relatively new to me----
so this may be only half of ONE...or whatever...
who knows?

Our beloved women know all about these things
and other cute coffee-time treats...that men don't
fool with. Men just get two or three donuts each,
and Dunkin's  coffee and settle down with fishing
and hunting stories.

Now then, I have tried one or two of these,
along the trail...and they are certainly not 
like old Rooster Gogburn's "corn dodgers" 
(that he carried in TRUE GRIT). I'm  pretty
sure...

These things just tempt a writer to come up
with all kinds of plays-on-words, like "He 
who lives in an obese body should not stow
scones."

Why? 

Because these  odd-bread-thingies  could 
be harmful to your health.

Check this---this "mini-scone" one measures
only three inches across the hypotenuse,
but it will fool you. Doncha know that the
sum of the squares of the "legs" by the
right angle...equal the sum of the...er...
hypotenuse...." or something...I never did
need to know that before, anyway...so
let's move on...

Getting down to the sugar-gritty, that little
snack in the photo has calories galore---
I mean...LOTS! Check it...guess one...

(1) 68 calories
(2) 128 calories
(3)  235 calories
(4). 420 calories
(5). 614 calories
(6)  NONE of the above

Here's the skinny, so to speak: a person
on a 1200 calories-per-day-diet could afford
to eat only three of these little scones...and
still be fudging (oops...bad word choice) some 
at that.

So Boys, we best leave the EXOTIC COFFEE-
BREAK-BREADS  to the girls, and just stick
with our donuts...ah but don't anyone check
donut calories...you might ruin everything.
-----------------
BY Mil

16 MAY 2018

Monday, May 14, 2018

THURSDAY IS T-DAY!






This Thursday, May 17 2018, is a BIG BIG  DAY
at our house. It, with its festive air and it's promise
of future delights, sort of reminds me of the "hog
killing days" down in W. Texas, when I was a kid.

"T-DAY IS A'COMIN'..."

Yes! Thursday is TOMATO PLANTING DAY !!
 (No, we don't plant in the middle of March
and have to cover our plants with blankets the 
next night.)  

At our first home here in town where we lived
twenty-four years, our four big elm trees in the
backyard (where the boys had tree houses)
got the Elm Disease...and just up and died.

We cut them down and dug the roots out and
there were holes big as hand grenade craters
across our backyard. The boys hacked away
at those giant stumps and finally just buried
them.

Enter the FARM BOY---ME. I landscaped the 
whole backyard with flower beds/garden
combo. Then planted tomatoes and watered
them often with Miracle Grow liquid tomato
fertilizer...careful not to make my "Koolade-
looking" fertilizer bucket too blue.

I had big glorious tomatoes galore over there
with more than we could eat. Many
long-forgotten friends showed up.

THEN...we moved to a bigger, newer, nicer
home, north of our old place about four
miles. Ah, but though it was beautifully
landscaped (with plants and bushes all
over), EVERYTHING, including flower beds
was totally graveled...or paved.

Thus, for us, tomatoes were history. And
my friends, we know store-boughten tomatoes
are "nothing to write home about."

That was the status quo from 1985 to 2004...
when one fateful day I came across a Florida
company that offered big heavy plastic boxes
about 28 x 14 inches---for growing all kinds of
veggies on one's back porch..or wherever.

WOW! You order them, fill them with dirt,
and there is a lattice thing in the bottom
about three inches up and water goes down 
there through a little plastic spout, 'til it gets
three niches deep and them a drain starts 
to leak and you quit watering.

Your dirt will last five years or so unless you
get some virus or something contaminating it.

You order a planting kit from EARTH BOXES
each year, with a little bag of Dolomite to mix
into the soil, and a little bag of 7-7-7 fertilizer
to layer on top of the soil on one side, away from 
the plants.

With the permission of "Management," i.e. B.E.,
I ordered five boxes that year with planting
kits @ $240.00.They are about fourteen years
old, this year. We have had many years of 
marvelous tomatoes!

It's the tomatoes we're after, not peas,
beans, cucumbers, zucchini, carrots, bell
peppers, okra, cantaloupes, watermelons---
you can buy all that at the Farmer's Market.

But not tomatoes. Vine-ripened, juicy, flavorful,
home-grown tomatoes...check the vitamins
and nourishment in one.

So our youngest son, Brian--- (the guitar 
professor)-- who already has his vines in,
is coming over Thursday with TEN PLANTS,
and a valve thingie which is needed for our
auto-watering system, which he devised.

We will plant, and talk in the shade, for it
is getting warm now in these parts, and
there will be dirt all over the driveway, and
plastic trash from the kits, but it will be
a grand old family time...and a bit
traditional by now! 

We will have a Garcia's Combo Mexican
plate to "fortify ourselves," and when it
is all over, late in the afternoon, we will
sweep up the debris...and sit back and 
smile, thinking of that blessed day, along
about July 25" when we will have our 
first tomato...sliced up good and proper---
covered with cottage cheese...and 
coarse black pepper.



By Mil
14 MAY 2018