"I DON'T SPEAK ACRONYMIA"

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PLEASE, NO ACRONYMS (TGIF)
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Everywhere you go or look, people are throwing around---ACRONYMS! Everywhere! Big companies, organizations, emailers, texters, the military, the government...even "old folk's lingo lists"---- there are abbreviations for everything. Problem is---there are those that don't like, use, know, think---in these abbreviations. And if they've ever heard one, they didn't pay any attention to it.

I have always been the last in the world (at least, so it seemed) to learn a new acronym.

In fact, I often marvel at the way people toss them around. You'll hear a real word now and then in the middle of their sentences.

In fact, I have sometimes thought they were doing it just to show me up. I wondered if they were using all these acronyms just to watch my puzzled face, all the while laughing hilariously on the inside.

In fact, I got so disgusted with acronyms that I insultingly renamed them "anachronisms," (items or words from the wrong century; out-of-place), just to throw a rock into these folk's mental gears: "Anachr...wha...wha...oh, is he stupid!?"

Now FYI, I do  know a few of those suckers---important ones, like:

M&M's---candy

ICBINB---I Can't Believe It's Not Butter
FBI---the Feds

NCAA---March Madness
AKA---also known as
LOL---laugh out loud
FFA---Future Farmers of America
USMC---the Marines
USAF---The Air Force

MADD---Mothers Against Drunk Driving
SPEBSQSA---Society For the Preservation and Encouragement of Barber Shop Quartet Singing In America 

Have you ever been in a roomful of suave, erudite people---who were "legends in their own minds," who wanted to be admired? If you have, you will know to be prepared to duck because it is a certain thing that acronyms will be flying...you will feel like a "Dick and Jane" reader in a room full of dictionaries! Or something...

The thing I hate is that I am always the one to finally say: "I'll bite, what IS YAFL?"

I once worked with a nice, sharp guy. Like all of us he had a couple of little quirks. One, it was important to his ego and self-esteem that he knew and could quote practically every acronym from the beginning of the world!

He also liked to be able to recite to old and new colleagues the outrageously long business form NUMBERS that we had in our supply shelf. Some client would want to change his contract and the assisting agent would look at our expert agent--- and he'd put his tongue-in-cheek, make a tepee with his fingers, and say: "Oh, you'll need FORM TCX1400RX1, if it's a male, or RX2 if female."

He was likewise murder on knowing every acronym involved in our operation! If he didn't know it, he'd fake it, and then say: "But we're out of that one, right now."

Acronyms have played a big part in our nation's history; however I'm not sure how far back they go. I'm just now getting comfortable with those of FDR's time: WPA, PWA, TVA, CCC, ETO, and stuff like military vehicles---LST, DUKW, etc.

Acronyms CAN cause problems. Those who design them must be cautious as evidenced in the true story of the Pacific command of the US fleet. Early in WWII, the military, being fond of neat, tidy acronyms---named the commanding Pacific admiral: "CINC-US"--- "COMMANDER IN CHIEF--UNITED STATES." Someone picked up on the fact that it sounded like "SINK-US;" thus it was changed.

I just want to say, pease limit your use of acronyms around me; you see, in all seriousness, I have to wonder "where was I" when everyone else learned these things---jillions of them. And people always look so smug when they use one...

So, I have a plan; if you use very many of those things on me:

"Voy a empezar hablando Espanol.  Como le gusta eso? 

Adios!

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BY MIL
5/30/13


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