SPARE ME...THE SPICES

 SPARE ME...THE SPICES       

"SPICES, SPICES, I DON'T NEED NO 
     STINKIN' SPICES..." 

.....Alfonso, from "The Treasure..." 

********************

For folks with sensitive palates, born and raised

down in the cotton country of West Texas, most 

spices have  one basic use---they  make good 

names for girls, especially when they run out

of suitable states and state capitols....for names.

O how oft in this world when cooks have  a 

good soup working, and they happen to glance

up in the cabinet where the spices (some five 

years old) rest, and say: "Wonder what that 

one does? I reckon I'll break new ground  and 

just try it out."

Well, please don't try it out on me. O skip the

bay leaf and the curry! Please!

Some people just don't get it. Every dish in the

mundo does NOT need a spice, generally

speaking.

Warning: Don't hum " parsley, sage, rosemary ,

and thyme," when you cook. Maybe hum "Big

Bad John," with a 32 ounce steak on the grill!

I mean I have tasted soup that was so over-spiced

I couldn't handle it.  And spices I read about, I

don't ever know how they taste, (by their names).

Now then, I asked BE about spices and I even

googled 'em.  Goodness knows, there may be

several hundred spices out there---i.e. saffron,

cominos, oregano, sage, fenugreek, cardamom,

cayenne, fennel, cilantro, tarragon, cori-

ander, bay leaf, cicely,  curry, myrtle,

verbena, mace, and mint--to name a few.

And I thought a tarragon was a little turtle

crossing the road---avoid running over him.

As for girls' names, we already have our

Myrtles, Cicelys, Rosemarys, Sages, Maces,

and (Nut) Megs. 

I'd need to check with BE to see if she would 

like these names, which I am kinda partial to---

if we should have a daughter: Verbena, Corian-

der, Marjoram, Ginger, or Saffron.  Cardamom

might not be a bad plan but she would wind up

being called "Cardi."

Anyway, I have been accused at times of writing

like Andy Rooney (a compliment) and so I will

tell you that this piece is 90% true---but maybe  

a bit tongue-in-cheek for humor's sake...

The French saying is that "The English have a 

thousand religions but only one sauce."

Mil confesses: he has ONE favored sauce,

which will improve almost any and every dish in

the world. Of course, snob cooks will frown---

This sauce is LIPTON'S Onion Soup Mix. As

stated —it will make any recipe better, almost, 

except maybe lemon pie.

Also Mil, a Chez in his own right

in his younger days, does like

garlic, red and green chile 

powder, cominos, oregano in 

pinches, dill, ginger (bread), sage

in limited quantities, and guess 

what? Black pepper showing on

top of fried eggs at breakfast, and

of course showing on mashed 

potatoes and cream gravy, and

stuff like that.

In closing---back to old West 

Texas and my roots---folks

weren't much on spices, but

they loved their butter. And it

appeared on and in everything

in copious amounts...in almost

all recipes. We're talking real,

fresh, home churned  butter!

Ah, but there was a villain in

those parts, in those days.

Yes, it was my granddad POP.

He loved sage more than 

anyone, and particularly loved

it in the family's beloved corn 

bread dressing at Thanksgiving 

and Christmas.

When the women were mixing

this recipe with corn bread, 

crumbled biscuits, onions,

celery and rich turkey broth,

he would lurk in the shadows 

of the kitchen, ostensibly just

enjoying the repartee, but

waiting to dart in, and dump

a cup of sage into the recipe...

....when no one was looking.

----------------

MIL

February 18, 2018