OUR NEW CHEERFUL MEDIUM PLATES
We were getting ready to go to a big social deal
of B.E.'s, and I was tying my favorite yellow-and-
black striped necktie, which looked sharp against
my black dress shirt...topped with the light sport
coat.
"It is going to be great fun," she reassured me,
"lots of interesting people there!"
(I visualized previous events with wall-to -wall
people, standing and wedged together, so that
if anyone passed away, they remained standing
until it was all over.)
"Should I eat a peanut butter sandwich on Nature's
Own, before we leave?" I (who was starved) asked
eagerly.
"No, no!" she said, "you will absolutely love the
spread of snack food---I guarantee it! Millie always
has plenty to eat!"
We arrived and I, not knowing anyone, was more
interested in eating, than talking. I elbowed and
slank my way across to the big long table.
A pretty maid was slicing thin slices off a big
Virginia ham, onto half ciabatta buns..there
were little smokies floating in grape jelly sauce,
chicken wings, con queso dip with nachos or
veggie pieces; there was a whole plate of exotic
olives, candied jalapeños---onion dip, green
chili dip, artichoke dip...and Lay's to-die-for
"Kettle" potato chips...also brats galore...and
picayune meat balls! I can't even recall it all.!
For a hungry guy, it was marvelous, simply...
"OUT-STANDING!"
AND, are you ready for this? There were little-
bitty PAPER PLATES---about the size of saucers.
(Seeing these pitiful little plates, any self-respecting
red-blooded man, who arrived alone... would just
turn around and head out to Quarters, or
somewhere for some good barbecue.)
A spread like that...and paper saucers?!
The dip and chips alone would fill the receptacle,
and make a nice soggy bed for everything else
you night be able to load on.
Having had some experience at these deals, I
used double saucers, but they sagged
dangerously...I could foresee numerous sneaky
trips back and forth to finish a "complete"
meal!
You get the idea.
Oft at holiday dinners and such, ladies want to
sort of announce, in an unspoken way---"This
is not a big deal or a big main meal, see the paper
plates...it is informal, etc. etc."
Some people use paper plates often.....
and thus have to turn on the dishwasher only once
a week. If you are batching, this might be a plan,
if you can put up with those things.
They are not friendly and a steak knife will cut
right through 'em and sliced tomatoes or
Thousand Island will then leak. They bend, and
they twist; they sag...and...may fold!
I knew a guy who had an overloaded one
that just folded-in-two an spilled most of his
food...right in a living room...in front of people.
Anyway, I suppose we people, politically correct
or not, maybe have a few "peremptory dislikes"
coming in life...and I am using one right here:
I dislike paper plates...life is too short!
I "bend" a little...they might be handy at church
picnics at the park, fishing trips (if you forgot
your tin pie pans), and backyard cookouts.
In principle...
***********************
BY MIL
9/26/16
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