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A Short Story By the Writer of Mil's Place
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Friday afternoon last, at about 3:45 p.m., I was sitting at my work station, mulling over and making notes regarding future posts for my readers on Mil's Place. The weather had been kinda weird lately ---hot, hot, hot, and then several days ago, as they used to say
down in
sleeping. The weather, as you will see, plays a big part in my story.
Anyway, when writing, I get absorbed and enthused, often paying little
attention to my surroundings--- least of all the weather. The front and back doors were open, I knew that. The light through my window here on my left was bright so I knew it was sunny outside. Being rapt about what I was doing, that was about all I knew about my milieu, that Friday.
I must digress slightly here, to tell you this: When I had a bad cough and cold in February, my dear wife had come home one day with two pairs of "lounger pajama bottoms," with the idea that while recovering and writing, Mil would have some nice thick, soft plaid flannel bottoms to "lounge in." (One of my strong suits is lounging.) To be sure you get the picture, these were first class, one gray plaid, and one blue plaid-- PJ bottoms. Thick flannel. I would probably have gone unnoticed anywhere out in public in these--- might have even seemed "dressed up!"
So, early that day, being rapt in my writing (did you catch that subtle hidden alliteration there?) I decided to don a pair of those loungers for the day, the blue ones I think. Anyway, aren't writers and artists supposed to be a little quirky, some way or other?! Completing my ensemble was a nice thick bright orange tee shirt by
Okay, so I was sitting here writing, and suddenly the light outside my window darkened and the back sliding screen door, having been left unlatched by the wife earlier, sounded like it opened. I raised up and looked, and sure enough it was open---it was the wind! We're talking sudden high wind. Takes a really big wind to blow a screen door open! Hmm, I thought. Then blam, the wind blew my front door shut, violently!
Then splat, splat, splat... is that rain hitting my window? Can't be...hasn't rained in ages around here.
I went to the door, there was the tomato fertilizer kits box next to the house, but it would GET WET there. But worse, today's Albuquerque Journal was lying five feet out from under the porch where the wife had tossed out of the driveway on leaving for piano practice at D.s house. It was beginning to pour (I'm serious) and HAIL. The newspaper was already wet somewhat, and I had to have (AH-CHOO) the mulberry pollen count for Thursday, on the back of page...wherever... you know, there with the weather stuff.
The sudden onset and power of that storm required a quick decision on my part. I opened the door and the screen, ran out in my stocking feet, orange tee shirt, and warm blue plaid lounging pajama bottoms, with the idea (1) I'd grab that paper quickly, and (2) on the way back into the house, grab the tomato box. In my haste, I forgot Murphy's Law and Robert Burn's "the best laid plans of mice and men gang aft agley." Because, you see, I forgot to turn that little latch release which unlocks the screen, for entry. Not only that, but being in those PJs meant I had no keys dangling off my Levi's, or that spare one in my change purse. And we have never been key hiders like my neighbor with the fake rock. In the vernacular of the day, I was...stymied.
Not to over-embellish my story, but the rain really started pouring, and the sound effect of the hail, about marble size, hitting my truck, the garage door, and the gutter around the roof, was deafening. The rain was blowing in sideways and our front porch is only about five feet deep. The storm had a cold wind with it. There I was, stranded. And drat, I had been so handy to LATCH the back screen earlier, when it blew open. Otherwise, if there had come a lull, I could have gone wading around to the back and simply opened the screen and walked in the back door, wet. There were no options, except that the wife would be home in an hour, maybe, because after practicing, she is wont to go to Trader Joe's (they have a lot of weird food in there.)
It was pouring, and encroaching by the minute on my tiny dry space. My feet were wet and the loungers wet to the knees. I found an old rug out there and wrapped up in the tiny thing. Had I been in court and on the stand, I would have easily sworn: "Yep, Judge, it rained two inches, no question, trust me, Scout's honor." The floor of the porch showed about one foot of dry cement left; there I was standing, but the rain was splattering in on me.
WHEN...MIRACLE!!! Through the heavy downpour---a car!! Was it---THE WIFE? YES! Oh, hallelujah! It's her..uh, she! She pulled that car into the drive. Having been an actor, in the junior and senior plays--a "method actor" at that, I decided I deserved some sympathy, some mileage, out of this traumatic event. Accordingly, I sat in a little chair at our tiny little table, wrapped around the shoulders with that old rug, and proceeded to go into a shivering mode, with a proper "impervious-to-my-surroundings-look." Defintely an un-lucid look. Hurrying in from the car, carrying a ton of piano sheet music in her bag, trying to avoid the rain, she nearly ran over me before she saw me.
"O-O-O-OH," she exclaimed! "What are you doing out here, undressed, no shoes, and WET?! Then she heard my sad story. "We've got to get you into some dry socks quickly." Guys don't you love that heart-felt sympathy which rarely comes from a wife! So I got on dry clothes and gave up the shivering. The moral to the story: "always undo the screen, or have a key!)
You know when it was all over---the shivering---she accused me of...FAKING IT.
(The rain gauge showed .38 of an inch.)
(My editor said: "You can take more words to tell a simple little story, than anyone I've ever known." Thank you.)
(Mil is none the worse from the exposure, ah, ah, ah-CHOO!)
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BY MIL
5/13/12
Dedicated to H.V, who also showed sympathy, on hearing this.
Sent from my iPad
BY MIL
5/13/12
Dedicated to H.V, who also showed sympathy, on hearing this.
Sent from my iPad
I couldn't help from laughing throughout the story from all the little jokes! Funny story!
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