"JIGGS AND MAGGIE"

I reckon I have never been quite the same...since that awful day,

out on I-40, some fifty years ago. I was scarred.

And let me just say, right now, that I NEVER MEANT ANY 

HARM!

As we were wont to do, in those times, when the boys were

both little (and cute little rascals), we were headed east on the

four-lane to Amarillo (or Clovis) to visit the grandparents!

There was a Stuckey's on the north side of the highway, half-

way between Clines Corners and Santa Rosa. We never stopped 

there---it was early-on in the trip and a federal case, getting 

off and on the freeway....when going east...

But THAT DAY, there were back-seat-cries: "Let's stop, let's stop...

REST STOP NEEDED!" So I made some incredibly intricate U-

turns, and we headed in there and parked. Out went the kids....

I moseyed around over into the section where tables were over-

flowing with souvenir-type stuff, like ash trays, coffee cups,

tea glasses, T-shirts, bandanas, ad-infinitum---marked "HELLO

FROM NEW MEXICO," "THE LAND OF ENCHANTMENT," and

other such sayings...

As I got around to the back side of the store, there was a little

hallway thingie cut into the wall...and I said to myself, "Well,

while here, I'll just visit a comfort room...good plan..." 

Now let me tell you, right now, that mans' ingenuity sometimes

goes too far...I've never had any trouble with "MEN" or "WOMEN,"

or "GUYS" or "GALS," or even "COWBOY'S and COWGIRLS..."

and certainly not with "SENORS" or "SENORAS," for I do "hablo"

a little ESPANOL.

But that day, my mind was at sea...or somewhere...maybe I was

planning how I was going to cross that median, in order to head

east again....whatever it was...there was TROUBLE COMING!!!

For I walked into this restroom...and immediately I knew

SOMETHING WAS WRONG! There were no appliances on the

wall (like men like)--- and it had seemingly stalls galore...and it

was so dainty...and cozy...and sweet...and the walls overwhelmed

my psyche, they were so gaudy...painted with flowers and stuff!

AND IT ALL HAPPENED SO FAST THAT I THINK MY MIND 

WENT "TILT."

And guess what....right then, a stall door opened, and this cute

lady walked out...never missed a step...like this happened every

day (I kid you not), and as she headed for the wash basins, she

winked at me...and smiled...and said: "YOU'RE JIGGS!"

I got out of there...FAST!

And checked those doors---and saw: "JIGGS".....and "MAGGIE!"

Yes, I had been asleep at the wheel, and wandered into the

women's rest room. 

I told B.E. about it, back at the car, trying I suppose to gain some

cathartic relief...and I told her the truth...except I did embellish the

story a little, already (in those days) making use, even then of 

"literary license..."

for....

The cute lady didn't really WINK.

All else is just as it happened.

*****************

MIL TELLS ALL

3/11/16

(This has probably happened to every man,

at least once.)