Friday, August 22, 2014

I AM DECLARING WAR!


by Richard Drake, Guest Writer
Several years ago I planted two pecan trees, a Choctaw and a Paper Shell.  Last year I was finally going to have a nice harvest but the squirrels got them.  Mostly, they just knocked the nuts off the branches and took a few bites. The ones that they missed two large black birds took care of them. I must have planted very tasty pecans because they don't bother the large native pecan tree in my neighbor's yard.  Native pecans shells are very hard so I guess the squirrels are very selective.

So I decided to take action.  During this past spring I put a wire cage around the trunks and wrapped them with a plastic mesh, called deer netting.   I started thinking about some tasty nuts this year; but no, the darn squirrels just viewed the netting like it was a set of stairs and climbed up and did their nasty job.  Talk about being mad.  I couldn't even find an appropriate swear word to use.

I just finished with Plan B.  I wrapped the trunks with shiny metal.  It's so slick that the little imps can't get a grip.  "No grippey, no climbey".  I will just have to wait until next year to see my results.  I got my handy pellet air rifle out of the closet.  I have tried to sight it in, but I guess that I just too excited about the 'tasty" stew.  I can't hit the bull's eye in the target.

For the birds when they return, I have another plan.  I am going to buy a 22 rifle.  Living in a strict home owner's association, I read the rules and no fire arms shooting is allowed except:  those land owners who live along the Brazos River can shoot feral hogs.  We live along the river and the trees are down hill from our patio.  I will claim that I was shooting at hogs on the river bank.  No one will ever know  the truth unless Marcia tells.  She won't tell unless asked a direct question.  She always tells the truth.

If anyone has a another idea, please let me know. Also, send your recipes for squirrel stew.
---30---for Mil's Place
Richard Drake 8/22/14


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