"IF IT CAN HAPPEN, IT WILL"

Once upon a time, for twenty-five years,
in my second career, I was an insurance
man.

(When you see me, you will note my gray
hair.)

I'll digress a slight bit here at the beginning
of my tale to tell you that I once had an Irish
friend---a man of the cloth---he had a Latin
expression which referred to our existence
on this terrestrial ball.  He was fond of quoting
it.

He would shake his head slightly and in a
resigned, rueful way---and as he made a
little "squick" sound with his lips, he would
say in Latin:  "IF IT CAN HAPPEN ON THIS
EARTH, IT WILL." (the emphasized and
operative word, of course, being "CAN!")

So, I was sitting at my office desk  one hot
slow ("slow"---read: "no one bugging me")
summer afternoon.

I recall, I had my three steelies that I kept
in my middle desk drawer, in my hand, and
I was jiggling them and practicing my Bogart.
"Yesh, it was my strawberries they were after….
they stole them----they got my strawberries….
it was the strawberries all the time…."

I was "getting it down" pretty good when the
phone rang.

It was a long-time dear friend, with whom I
had worked in a previous career.

I had her homeowner's policy.

She sounded upset.  "Mil, I've lost a hearing
aid, right out of my ear---they are very small
but also very expensive.  I was in the kitchen
doing a little baking.  One minute it was
in my ear, and the next it was GONE!"

"Am I covered on my homeowner's policy
for a replacement?  I hope so, because I
don't have $1500.  These were the latest
things!"

I was quite knowledgeable about homeowner
policies and even taught new agents, but  I
was not a claims adjuster and did not have
every eventuality memorized.

So as not to get her hopes up, I said: "Let
me phone my underwriter at the home office.
Sybil knows everything."  (except English,
as you will soon see.)  Sybil said "No, the
policy 'pacifically' excludes hearing aids."

It was tough, giving my long-time friend
the awful news:  "No, I'm sorry, you're not
covered."

There the matter rested….and I felt really
bad for several days, worrying about how
she would get $1500 for a single replacement
hearing aid.

Then one day, three days later, the phone
 rang!  "Mil, Mil, good news, good news!
Wait 'til you hear this!"

"For dessert today at my little lunch, I made
myself a cup of coffee, and sat down to
indulge myself and finish off the last big
piece of chocolate pie that I made the other
day…..well Mil, I bit down on something hard!"

"Mil, it was my lost HEARING AID---there in
my chocolate pie!  How did it get there?!
I licked all the chocolate off, but it wouldn't
work.  I headed out to get it fixed!"

"I just got home from my hearing aid guy's
They worked me in down there!
They soaked it in something and put a new
battery in it….all for just a service charge!"


Oh, I'm so happy,"  she said.  "I didn't have
$1500 to spare!"

All's well that ends well, I suppose.

Isn't there a saying:  "It's all in the pie?"
If not, I'm starting one.

(So long, I'm headed down to Village Inn's
Pie Shoppe, for a big slice of their chocolate
pie!  Er, hold the hearing aids.  See ya')


---30---
MIL'S PLACE
6/18/14