VEAL CUTLETS, SHOPPING, AND CHICKEN FRIED STEAK!

WHEN ALL THE WORLD WAS YOUNG!

******************************************

Yes, I know, the title above reminds us of Johnny Carson playing "CARNACK, the Magnificent," on his nightly TV show, and wearing that silly turban and holding a white envelope up to his forehead and saying: "Veal cutlets, shopping, and chicken fried steak!" Then Ed McMahon repeated it.

Actually, I will explain it. Do you mind if we reminisce---back to the time when my wife and I were dating?

Well, it goes kinda like this. On our first date in 1955, we went to Roswell from Artesia, because they had a great miniature golf facility there. My future wife beat me. I still have the score card. (Humiliating.)

Then not too much later, we packed a picnic lunch and went out into the boonies to an old dump and had some revolver target shooting practice---at tin cans. She outshot me! Humiliating again, but instructive---I realized that I needed this girl (anyone that could shoot like that!) to protect me the rest of my life!

Now, here is the cute thing---during these early days in our relationship, whenever we went out to eat, she always ordered a "veal cutlet"---always; it never varied. "Er, I'll have the veal cutlet," to the waitress.

So she went off to Wayland college that fall semester wearing a diamond on her left hand. It's a good thing I did that too, or she would have been grabbed by somebody! Getting very lonesome, working all time, and with her away, I went up to Wayland one weekend to see her.

She decided we would "go shopping" and then get a late lunch. She knew of a restaurant that served "great veal cutlets," and that's where we ate. (Later on our honeymoon, that's what she ate---a veal cutlet.)

Sometime later on---she discovered that veal is actually (gasp) baby calf!  My friends, from that day to this, she has never eaten another veal cutlet.

Now back to that shopping trip we went on that afternoon while I was in Plainview. I was an innocent twenty-one year old "boy" and had never been shopping with a woman. And as the saying goes: "I never meant any harm." So I tagged along unsuspectingly, ignorantly, but proudly---anticipating this event, and thinking to myself: "How sweet and sort of homey this is--- shopping family-style with my future woman!"

WRONG!

It was murder! And I was the murderee, I think. Though at age 21 I was a tough tennis player and a college ping pong champ, my tongue was hanging out by late afternoon. We had hardly bought a thing (we didn't have any money anyway), though I thought we had tried on half the women's clothes in town.

I wasn't even married yet but that was my LAST TIME to ever go shopping with a woman. Okay, I'll admit it---it's just not in my genes. I can't help it. I lack that special talent that our marvelous women have---which allows them to wring some kind of joy and happiness from walking into stores and trying on stuff...ad infinitum.

You want to know the truth? I haven't MISSED SHOPPING.

And guess what? My wife has NOT MISSED VEAL CUTLETS! She just shifted over to...CHICKEN FRIED STEAKS.

With gravy.

*******30*******

BY MIL

9/1/12

Sent from my iPad