**********************
OFF THE WALL!
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Nobody wants to talk about...
ITCHES!
Maybe they're embarrassing.
Why? They shouldn't be.
They bug us all, to death...
As the saying goes.
What does an itch look like?
Nobody knows for sure...except maybe
"Itch Doctors!" And there aren't many
Of those around. Who'd want to be one?
Not covered by Medicare---no money in it.
And it sounds a little like "Witch Doctors."
**********************
Nobody wants to talk about...
ITCHES!
Maybe they're embarrassing.
Why? They shouldn't be.
They bug us all, to death...
As the saying goes.
What does an itch look like?
Nobody knows for sure...except maybe
"Itch Doctors!" And there aren't many
Of those around. Who'd want to be one?
Not covered by Medicare---no money in it.
And it sounds a little like "Witch Doctors."
What does an itch look like?
Probably a teensy, BLUE OR GREEN, germy-looking thing!
Mean looking...with little arms and legs, and
"Itch-Fangs," all microscopic, of course.
They are smart Little Rascals
With a strong sense of self-preservation.
Ever know them to set up their "Operation,"
Their "Act"---their "Itch-Realm" anywhere
That a prudent human being, (even with a
Walgreen's store-boughten back-scratcher)
Could reach them? No, they arrive right under
A shoulder blade and can't be touched from top or bottom.
And they love to strike at weird times...
Like when you're lying on your back under
The pickup, changing oil---needing both hands,
A greasy wrench in one greasy hand,
Holding on to a greasy dripping filter, about to drop--.
In your face...
Then my, oh my, are ITCHES BRAVE!!!
THEY SET UP ON THE END OF YOUR NOSE!!!
Every time. (Jiffy Lube, here I come, from now on!)
Or have you guys ever made a meat loaf?
No, I mean a serious meat loaf---enough for
Several frozen pans of it, for you know, to eat
When rhe wife goes to her club---Tappa Kegga Dei,
Or whatever?
Got your big stainless pan full of nice lean meat,
Worchestershire, eggs, mixing it with your hands,
(Fun, fun--- and with rubber gloves, of course.)
THEN---those little Gremlin Itches will STRIKE!
BIG TIME!! On your nose, ear, cheek, or wherever.
Oh-h-h, Can't stand it! Oh, heck---SCRATCH! SCRATCH!
SCRATCH! Hello, "Meat Loaf Face!"
What about baseball players, who get Criticized Constantly
For scratching? You---try to pitch a whole ball game..
And never scratch. It can't be done.
When it comes to ITCHES, what about the Animal Kingdom?
DOGS, for example. They lead a dog's life (so to speak),
Don't they?
Have you ever noticed the FUNNY, INTENT LOOK they get
On their faces, when they scratch?! At least they have a very
Efficient and fast-moving-scratching back-leg!
(Just scratch their tummies, and watch that back-leg go wild!!)
Then there's the forest, where the animals have rubbed
The bark off trees, scratching their itching backs.
Not all itches are bad! The term is used metaphorically
To indicate "YEARNS." These yearns are likely good
Honorable Itches.
As, "I'm itching to travel."
Or, "I'm itching to learn to ski."
Or, "I'm itching to read that book or see that movie!"
The wife will love it if you get "wife-pleasing itches," such as:
"I'm itching to take you toTahiti ."
"I'm itching to clean out our old shed."
"I'm itching to buy you a new dress."
(You know.)
Yes, I guess ITCHES will always be with us, one way or another, BAD OR GOOD!
May I wish for you that all your bad ones will be few...and scratchable...
And that your happy (including wife-pleasing) ones....will be MANY!
Probably a teensy, BLUE OR GREEN, germy-looking thing!
Mean looking...with little arms and legs, and
"Itch-Fangs," all microscopic, of course.
They are smart Little Rascals
With a strong sense of self-preservation.
Ever know them to set up their "Operation,"
Their "Act"---their "Itch-Realm" anywhere
That a prudent human being, (even with a
Walgreen's store-boughten back-scratcher)
Could reach them? No, they arrive right under
A shoulder blade and can't be touched from top or bottom.
And they love to strike at weird times...
Like when you're lying on your back under
The pickup, changing oil---needing both hands,
A greasy wrench in one greasy hand,
Holding on to a greasy dripping filter, about to drop--.
In your face...
Then my, oh my, are ITCHES BRAVE!!!
THEY SET UP ON THE END OF YOUR NOSE!!!
Every time. (Jiffy Lube, here I come, from now on!)
Or have you guys ever made a meat loaf?
No, I mean a serious meat loaf---enough for
Several frozen pans of it, for you know, to eat
When rhe wife goes to her club---Tappa Kegga Dei,
Or whatever?
Got your big stainless pan full of nice lean meat,
Worchestershire, eggs, mixing it with your hands,
(Fun, fun--- and with rubber gloves, of course.)
THEN---those little Gremlin Itches will STRIKE!
BIG TIME!! On your nose, ear, cheek, or wherever.
Oh-h-h, Can't stand it! Oh, heck---SCRATCH! SCRATCH!
SCRATCH! Hello, "Meat Loaf Face!"
What about baseball players, who get Criticized Constantly
For scratching? You---try to pitch a whole ball game..
And never scratch. It can't be done.
When it comes to ITCHES, what about the Animal Kingdom?
DOGS, for example. They lead a dog's life (so to speak),
Don't they?
Have you ever noticed the FUNNY, INTENT LOOK they get
On their faces, when they scratch?! At least they have a very
Efficient and fast-moving-scratching back-leg!
(Just scratch their tummies, and watch that back-leg go wild!!)
Then there's the forest, where the animals have rubbed
The bark off trees, scratching their itching backs.
Not all itches are bad! The term is used metaphorically
To indicate "YEARNS." These yearns are likely good
Honorable Itches.
As, "I'm itching to travel."
Or, "I'm itching to learn to ski."
Or, "I'm itching to read that book or see that movie!"
The wife will love it if you get "wife-pleasing itches," such as:
"I'm itching to take you to
"I'm itching to clean out our old shed."
"I'm itching to buy you a new dress."
(You know.)
Yes, I guess ITCHES will always be with us, one way or another, BAD OR GOOD!
May I wish for you that all your bad ones will be few...and scratchable...
And that your happy (including wife-pleasing) ones....will be MANY!
BY MIL
******30******
8/5/12
Sent from my iPad
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