"DOWNTOWN ATTIC"

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ATTIC TYPEWRITER SALE!! BARGAINS!!
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Bob, I'm so glad to have you come by again---it seems
like ages since I've seen you! As an old-timer might
say: "I've been hankerin' a right smart to see you, and
set a spell, and have a good jaw!"

Good news! See my rebuilt attic stairway and rail! Much
safer and easier to get up here now. So many people
were reading our attic stories and were dropping by to
see my attic so we decided to improve our access.

One of our friends and faithful readers suggested we
name our attic pieces "DOWNTOWN ATTIC," sort of in
honor of that very well-done and popular British nobility
program "DOWNTON ABBEY." We are naming this one
for her.

You take the rocking chair there with the quilt on it,
which makes it soft---and put your feet up there on Jack
Holt the Clothier's shoe stool, which you bought for me
as a gift at a sale, knowing that I had worked there off
and on for 6 years during high school and college (when
I wasn't plowing.) You know, I am going to do a story
about that stool one day....

Well, I'll admit, summertime is not necessarily the coziest
time for sitting in an attic. I always need my little A/C "on"
up here in July, but let me tell you, yesterday afternoon, it
"clouded-up good" about 4 p.m. and "the bottom fell out!"
Rain came down in sheets for about 15 minutes. With my
built-in-farm-boy rain gauge, I estimated the amount to be
in the range of about eight tenths to one inch...but I have
been know to over-estimate downpours!

So this rain cooled us off and I went out to check my rain
gauge this morning and it was cracked and no good. I am
slipping---any self-respecting farmer knows to have a
back-up coffee-can-rain-gauge somewhere!

Anyway, I was up here during the storm and there was
HEAVY thunder and lightning and the rain was pouring
onto the roof right over my head ---my favorite old
vagabond mulberry branch was scraping the house big
time (though you couldn't hear it); the overall effect was
stupendous and I almost lost my awe and enjoyment of
it all....and became a ...wimp!

Speaking of attics in the summertime, I have clever ways
to beat the heat. Here's one: I get a big insulated glass
and fill it with ice cubes; then pour into this a twelve
ounce diet/decaf Dr. Pepper, come up here and turn on
my little A/C and TV, and find the "ICE ROAD
TRUCKERS." That'll cool you off! "HA HA HA HA HA HA!"
(Does that sound like Alex Debowgorski, my hero ice
trucker?!)

And you know, it kind of reminds me of my days as a
wheat trucker when I was 15-16 years old, though I never
had to negotiate snow and ice. At that age I'd have flipped
out to have seen a cute blond trucker like Lisa driving
around. She's a real trucker, trooper, and tough to boot,
isn't she? "HA HA HA HA HA HA!" (Does that sound like
"the Polar Bear?")

What amazes me about those ice road truckers is their
talent and ingenuity in fixing small motor problems on
the road...putting on heavy tire chains in minus 30 degree
weather...or winching their trucks (with heavy cables tied
to forest trees) sideways, forward, or back onto the road.

Driving a wheat truck was okay but ice road truckin' is
not for me. What if you had to turn a tight corner, driving
an eighteen wheeler, in a small town? I'd probably take
out a whole corner, including a mail box, fire plug, and
bus stop bench! We won't even talk about backing up
in that truck....

Bob, I don't want to monopolize the conversation, but
while you're here, being as you are a "retired Junque
hobby expert," I want to offer you the DEAL of a lifetime
on some electric typewriters! Wo! Wait 'til you hear this!
Did you know, as the old saying goes: "I CAN GET
THEM FOR YOU---WHOLESALE!" LOL!

Over there, in the corner of the attic, resting under than
quilt, are six really-nice, state-of-the-art,well-cared-for,
barely-used, garage-sale-purchased Smith-Corona,
Olivetti, Remington, Sears, and Montgomery Ward
electric typewriters! Well okay, I lied a little---the Olivetti
was used a lot---the lady at the garage sale said she
got her Master's degree with it.

A retailer would say that I "OVERSTOCKED last year."
Yes, I did---I over-bought! I was so blinded by the fact
that $300.00 machines were sitting there at almost every
garage sale for five bucks per---well, I just lost control.
i'da bought forty of 'em at that price! LOL!

So Bob, can we talk...businessman to businessman?
I need to move these out to "make room for incoming
new inventory." know what I mean? (Don't mention that
term to the Beloved Editor--don't say "incoming.")

Bob, here is the plan. See if you like it: You take all six
pre-owned electric typewriters @ $10.00 each. Then sell
them for $15.00 each; that way we both come out ahead!
(In fairness, I should mention to you that computers have
made the market in electric typewriters, as well as in
"Whiteout," a little slow.)

To tell the truth, I have always avoided electric typewriters.
See I tend to drag my fingers and I get lots of ...nnnnnnn's...
and pppppp's...with an electric. This happens even with an
IPad. Did you ever doze off while typing on an IPad? It is
amazing what you wake up to!

I shudder when I remember doing term papers in college
on the family portable! I bought "Whiteout" by the quart, I
think! My brother must have got that portable when I
graduated because I was forced later on to get another
one for the seminary, where there was a considerable
amount of typing required.

Thus I bought an excellent German-made ADLER
non-electric portable which I still have and will always
have---a fine machine, though why I'll ever need it---with
Henry here, I don't know. It has sentimental value.

You know, Bob, you must be quite a typist yourself. You
are obviously very dexterous on your computer. You've
written several stories for MIL'S, including your famous
"MARBLE STORY!" In fact, I owe you a lot. Thanks for
putting me in contact with some of the '53 CHS class
guys such as Richard and Wylie, who have made some
fine contributions to MIL'S PLACE. And then there's that
great guy down in Florida, Coach Ned Biddix, that I "met"
through you!

Well enough about typewriter and computers for now,
let's rustle up some food! Re food, the bad news is---the
Editor could not find any beef State Fair Corn Dogs; so
she skipped them, knowing my distaste for turkey
wieners.

The good news is---we have for some extra crunchy
peanut butter and some cherry preserves (made in
France)---the best that you have ever tasted!
Here's a fresh loaf of Nature's own---we'll have
PNBJ sans!!

You may have seen my Hires Root Beer sign on the
attic wall, and so you may have guessed our beverages!
Yes, here's a big old Hires twelve ounce root beer, just
like we drank in the forties under the elms on a hot July
day on Reid Street---out in my front yard!

Remember, you were barefooted then in '43. Want to
take off your shoes? LOL!

I'll eat awhile and let you talk!

Before I forget it though, let me say---if you'll take all six
of those electric typewriters off my hands, I'll throw in a
quart of WHITEOUT!

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BY MIL
09/15/13