Early December, and when I saw the "pecan pie filling in a jar", I ordered it immediately. What better way to show the family what a great cook I was than to surprise them with MY VERY OWN-BAKED PECAN PIE!!
I waited until the wife went Christmas shopping one day and then found a pie crust in the freezer and began my adventure. There were no instructions on the jar so I thought...."well, filling, pie crust, oven--what more do you need?" (Evidently the recipe was supposed to be attached to the lid of jar, as I later discovered.)
So, being a cook (?), I put that filling in the shell and put that sucker in the oven at 350*. I began to tidy up my minor mess in the kitchen when...uh oh...the wife returned unexpectedly and said,"What's this?" Caught with no lines...and no writer...I said,"It's not what it looks like."
My surprise being ruined I proceeded to elicit her advice. The pie was bubbling and bubbling and she asked about the recipe. I said,"Thar waran't none." Puzzled, she said, "Well, cook it some more." It bubbled and bubbled. I put it out to cool and later when I went to proudly sample it, it couldn't be sliced, not even with a chisel. So, humming a few bars of "Bye, Bye, Miss American Pie," I sadly tossed it.
On Monday morning I was on the phone to the pie company and the most courteous lady there, when she heard my tale of woe, said: " O-O-OH we are going to send you a replacement jar. You should have had a recipe stuck to the lid."
It came and I opened the little three-fold-lid-sized-round-recipe-thing on the lid and saw at a quick glance things like eggs, flour, butter, and then put the jar in the pantry. Out of sight, out of mind.
Three months later, the wife said,"The kids are coming-don't you want to make your pecan pie now?" "Oh, okay, I guess so." I went to fetch the jar. To digress...can we talk? are you sympathetic readers? Are you ready for this? As the Bible says in Ecclesiastes,"time and chance happeneth..." When I went to open my little fold-out lid recipe ( which separates non-chisel-able pies from nice slice-able ones) it was STUCK TOGETHER. It was welded together, no joke, I'm serious here. I know, the title of this story should be: "Real Cooks Don't Weep."
Anyway, resourceful I said to myself: "Look in a recipe book or consult Henry (my I PAD) and find a good recipe." So that's what happened. I figured out what was probably lacking and added it to the filling. You know, my last-pecan pie-that-I-will- ever-bake didn't turn out too badly. And if you ever need a good pecan pie recipe, Henry has 600, give or take.
Sent from my iPad
Was that the pie we got to eat when were down there? I like the new name for your IPad too!
ReplyDeleteI never realized a pie could become hard enough to use as a tool or dangerous projectile but this puppy had the possiblities of both. Very funny experience !
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